It's 1:26 am in the morning, time to start wandering around the house, making cups of camomile tea and eating copious amounts of toast. It has got me early this morning, it usually leaves me until at least 2:30 am, sometimes I am lucky enough to sleep until 3 am, but rarely.
I will be awake now until 4/4:30 am and the alarm goes off at 6:30 am.....that's the time when I would like to sleep!!
My insomnia crept up on me, it has only been here for a few months and I can't really put a finger on when it started.
I have always gone to bed early, 9:3o pm would have been late, but I would have dropped off to sleep quickly and 9 times out of 10 gone through the night until Belle (my girly dog) would wake me up to announce it was time to get out on the Plain for a walk - sometimes in the height of summer, with the light mornings, that could have been 5 am, but having had a full night's sleep that was no problem.
Now is totally different. It makes no difference if I go to bed at my usual time or leave it until 11:30 pm as I did last night, in the vain hope that I will be so tired that I will sleep through..... haha, who am I kidding?
Before you ask, yes I have tried the following:
Keeping my bedroom at a comfortable temperature - not too warm, not too cold.
Stopped watching the television an hour before bedtime or looking at my phone.
Reading for an hour.
Having a warm bath.
Drinking a warm drink - no caffeine obvs
Listening to soothing music.
Only going to bed when I am tired.
Having a routine.
Getting exercise during the day but not too close to bedtime.
Not eating a heavy meal too close to bedtime.
Not drinking alcohol.
Ensuring the bedroom is quiet and dark.
Lightly misting my pillow with lavender.
I have tried it all, but still, I can't sleep.
Tonight I decided not to do the snacking bit - no wonder I am piling on the pounds. Not only am I scoffing toast/cake/cereal/biscuits on my night-time wanderings but not getting enough sleep, according to the NHS, may mean you put on weight! Studies have shown that people who sleep less than 7 hours a day tend to gain more weight and have a higher risk of becoming obese than those who get 7 hours of slumber.
It's believed to be because sleep-deprived people have reduced levels of leptin (the chemical that makes you feel full) and increased levels of ghrelin (the hunger-stimulating hormone). At least I can blame the lack of sleep instead of my total lack of discipline!!
It is well documented that lack of sleep may lead to long-term and serious health problems. Some of the most serious potential problems associated with chronic sleep deprivation are high blood pressure, diabetes, heart attack, heart failure or stroke. Other potential problems include obesity, depression, and impairment in immunity. Great!!
All sounds pretty depressing - I am not depressed, at least I don't think I am. I get bouts of being 'down' but in the current climate I am sure that must be pretty common, other than the fact that I can't sleep, there is nothing particularly playing on my mind.
Do I go to the GP? I may advise someone else to but I don't revel in the thought of taking medication; I don't even like taking paracetamol so sleeping tablets??? I have to admit I did try herbal remedy sleeping tablets but having bought them I read on the bottle that you may have to take them for at least four weeks before any effect could be felt, after three nights of nothing I gave up....... impatient? moi?
It's now 3:12 am and I have been using my laptop to write this - naughty. My next move will be to read my book for an hour - I am learning how to become a better runner (currently it is all in my head but it may transfer to real life) and for a while, I will feel tired.
However, as soon as I flick the light switch and my room is plunged into darkness I will lie there, I may thrash around for a bit as I am also blessed with 'jumpy leg syndrome' but basically I will lie there........ and then a wet nose will be shoved in my ear......time to get up AGAIN.
as i sit here awake
waiting for some comfort
only received by those
who venture into the
depths that the night offers
delusions of peace
and visions of grace
cloud my weary mind
yet do nothing to ease
my troubled heart
is there any truth
to be had from my restless vigil?
i - a sentinel of the moon
i - a watcher of the shadows
i - an eloquent fool
am driven to seek
a respite from the waking world
by staying the hand of
the sandman in hopes that
these mountainous molehills
may shrink under my gaze
futile? it may be so
yet dreams that may keep my company
scare me more than any
insomnia induced hallucination
by 'Ben' from Hello Poetry